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Although Abu Dhabi has very strict laws pertaining to sexual relations outside of marriage and public displays of affection etc, it's unlikely that you'll have a problem sharing a hotel room with your partner. There have been many reports of unmarried couples visiting Abu Dhabi and Dubai and staying in the same hotel room without any problems. It's unlikely that the hotel will ask for any proof that you're married and there should be no need to assume otherwise. Abu Dhabi is a popular tourist destination and hotels are used to Westerners visiting, and generally will not interfere with your private affairs, particularly if it's a well-known Western chain. It may be worth phoning the hotel directly to enquire discreetly abuot their policies in regard to this matter.
When going out in public, it's best to respect the local customs and social etiquette. Be discreet, dress conservatively (cover your shoulders and legs), avoid any public displays of affection and avoid drawing any attention to yourself, so rather don't hold hands or kiss in public. The less attention you draw to yourselves, the less questions there are likely to be...
I suggest you have a read of our pages on Culture Shock in Abu Dhabi and Local Laws in Abu Dhabi for further insights about every day life in the emirate.
Good luck with your trip!