Culture Shock in Israel

Working and living in a foreign country can be overwhelming - even shocking. This phenomenon of 'culture shock' is somewhat inevitable for expats, and while there might be ways to decrease the unpleasantness of the experience, it is something that happens to everyone, everywhere, and to varying degrees.

Most experts believe that culture shock is related to one’s preparation for the changes they will face (their prior experience and knowledge of them), as well as their perception of them 'in reality' (their open-mindedness, their interest in the foreign culture, and the judgements they make). The effects of culture shock are also influenced by one’s awareness of culture shock itself, and the process one might go through.

There are four stages of culture shock that expats go through, including the honeymoon phase, the irritation-to-anger stage, the rejection of the culture stage, and the cultural adjustment phase.

1. Honeymoon

The honeymoon stage includes a phase of bliss and excitement from experiencing new people and places. As a new immigrant, I had traveled to Israel countless times before I moved here. But the sense of exhilaration was undeniable during the first few months. Everyday life was an adventure. Using public transportation was a mission for the day, and getting lost was the thrill. Israelis can seem a bit tough and distant, but they will drop everything to help if you are lost or have a question. If I met Israelis on the street and they learned that I was a new immigrant, conversations were always incredibly encouraging, and would always lead to how they can help with my transition. 

Meeting Israelis was also exciting. They were always happy to speak English, and never quick to judge my pathetic attempts at Hebrew. Conversations seemed more direct and free, without a code of behavior. Boundaries felt limitless and connections seemed solid, honest, and genuine.

The food was incredible. Fresh fruit and vegetables were a delight, especially because a cucumber tasted like a cucumber (rather than rubber), and the variety of fruit is endless. The dairy is phenomenal, especially the cottage cheese. The fresh Mediterranean diet was extraordinary.

Culturally, the combination of so many different cultures and religions living amongst each other is incredible. I could hear 10 different languages on the streets of Tel Aviv in a day. And in Jerusalem, I could see a fully covered Muslim women standing next to a Jewish women, buying the same groceries at the market. It was amazing to witness.

2. Irritation to Anger

After a few months of bliss, I started to study Hebrew and look for a job. And then it hit me - “the irritation-to-anger stage.”  Instead of viewing Israelis as nice and warm people, I found them aggressive and rude. Things seemed inefficient, unlike my well-organised and effective American way of life.  I took the train every morning, which I used to think as an adventure and relaxing. But then I became annoyed and frustrated, feeling as if Israelis were worse than New Yorkers on the subway. People rushed to steal the only available seat, while I watched in rage and had to stand for the duration of the train. The train was no longer exciting, it was annoying!

I was learning Hebrew, but I was realising how little I actually knew. The demands and expectations for me to be able to explain myself and understand Hebrew were increasing. So, I began to avoid situations where I needed Hebrew. I would make my husband answer the phone or go to the store. I didn’t want to be in big groups, where only Hebrew was being spoken. I am not normally the quiet one, but I became a good listener and observer (I actually became an expert on pretending to understand a conversation, when actually not understanding a thing!). I became annoyed and avoided situations where I needed to use Hebrew.

3. Rejection

After a few months of growing frustration, loneliness, and anxiousness, the rejection stage of culture shock began. I became incredibly frustrated and quite bitter. I no longer waited patiently for others to board the train and find their seats; I was throwing elbows and pushing people in order to get a seat. Why should they sit and I shouldn’t?

Driving in Israel is also an experience. It can be a bit dangerous if you are not accustomed to it. I found it exciting when I first began driving here, as it was unbelievable and surprising how people drove. However, after six months of dealing with Israelis on the road, I had had enough. Using one's indicator is the law; however, it won’t get you anywhere. Most people won’t let you in and many people drive as if there is no one else on the road. It was shocking to see Israelis on the road, and eventually just appalling. And if the driving attitude wasn’t enough, the endless traffic can put you over the edge. What should be a 15-minute drive can sometimes take over an hour.

My negative attitude about Israel didn’t stop with the traffic and train problems. I found the food boring and limited. I found the people imposing and aggressive. One day, I was in the supermarket with my sister and her new baby. A woman came to us and gave us some advice about how to care for the baby. A few months before, I would have regarded this action as incredibly thoughtful and warm. However, at this point, I judged her as obnoxious and pushy, and I asked my sister sarcastically, 'Did we ask for advice?'

I found myself no longer trying to avoid situations, but rather, looking for situations to judge Israelis' differences, and to defend my own culture and habits.

4. Adjustment

And then FINALLY, I reached the adjustment phase. This phase is actually about understanding and embracing the new culture. It is about adapting from one’s previous lifestyle to one’s new culture. For me, this phase occurred only when I grew aware of my actual experience; when I could identify my withdrawal and my anger, and could choose to deal with it accordingly. I decided I could get incredibly angry and become a jerk on the road, or I could take a breath, drive carefully, and get home when I get home. I could be thankful when there was a seat on the train and be patient when there was not. I could identify aggression and avoid that behavior, and appreciate others’ sincerity and concern. Most of all, I grew to understand the bottom line: things are different - for better or for worse!

The process of culture shock is dynamic and ongoing. What I struggled with upon arrival will reappear. And my coping mechanisms will change as I change. A few suggestions on how to deal with culture shock:

• Educate yourself on the culture - read, watch movies, talk to people
• Focus on what is controllable - focus on yourself! We can’t change the whole world, but we can change our own behaviour and attitude
• Pick your battles - some situations are less significant than they seem. Focus your energy on what is significant!
• Ask for help - ask other expats who have been in your situation
• Keep in touch with family and friends abroad - balance your 'worlds', as they are both important
• Remember that all changes are learning experiences. Nothing is permanent and everything changes.

Below is a list of other notable differences in Israeli culture. Of course, this list is consists of generalisations and is only provided as an attempt to lessen the 'shock' of culture shock. Cultures are innately different, but being aware of these differences may help the shock of the experience, and make it a more enjoyable and exciting challenge.

• More relationship-oriented rather than rule-oriented (openness and bluntness is priority). In a business environment and depending on the company, rules can be somewhat ambiguous and less structured
• Compared to other cultures, Israeli’s manner of speech and interpersonal relations are less formal; Israel is much less hierarchical than other cultures (easier access to top leadership)
• Expression of opinions is highly valued - Israelis can be more assertive and spontaneous about their point-of-views and opinions, and this can be considered 'pushy'. Conflict avoidance is less popular among Israelis; they tend to confront differences, in order to resolve them using direct communication styles.