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It would be best to try secure a job before arriving in South Africa. As an engineer, I am sure your husband will not struggle to find a job if he has the requisite skills and experience. However, unless your husband has extremely rare and soughtafter skills, and a company is looking specifically for overseas staff, it's unlikley that he'll get a full relocation package, and moving costs will likely be for your own pocket. South African engineers are well-qualified and highly skilled and most South African companies will recruit from within the country and according to their own HR and affirmative action requirements before hiring from outside the country and paying expat packages. I'd suggest looking at websites such as careerjunction.co.za or pnet.co.za for ads for vancancies for engineers. Bizcommunity.co.za is a good site to look for vancancies in the media and publishing fields. These sites will also have lists of recruitment agents, and I suggest you contact recruiters directly to enquire about jobs in your line of work and what sort of packages and benefits you're likley to get as an expat.
In terms of children and education, there are many good government and private schools in South African cities, so it depends on what your requirements are. Most South African families have the mother and father working and therefore it's common to hire an au pair or send the kids to creche. There are numerous agencies that assist with this and can help you find an au pair.
I hope this has helped. I suggest taking a look at our South Africa Expat guide for loads more general information about living and working in South Africa, including the cost of living, culture shock, healtchare, education etc.
Good luck with your research and job search!